We had reading assignments for our first face-to-face meeting. One of them had a 20 question, 4 part questionnaire to fill out to judge "how credible are you?" It was from The Speed of Trust. What I hate about things like this is first of all, it's easy to self-deceive and think you're either lower or higher on a scale than you really are. Plus it has you score yourself on a scale from 1 to 5 and I have a very difficult time putting myself on a scale. In my brain I'm either a 1 (too hard on myself) or a 5 (a 5, a 5! ha!). But if I put that I'm a 5 in something I start to worry that I'm practicing the self-deception and will mark myself lower because I am too worried I just might be lying to myself. Then I will panic and think I'm marking myself too low just because I might be over-analyzing things.
"Oh no, should I put a 4? A 3? Is it really a 5? No, a 4...maybe it is a 5...." *eye roll*
In other words, the score is never accurate and can change from day to day depending on my mood.
I try to be good at introspection and self-analysis. I am pretty sure I know where I lie with Integrity, Intent, Capabilities and Results (the four areas you are scoring). I know where I need to improve the most. I know that I need to constantly improve in all areas. Is a score an accurate way to show that?
I read the questionnaire. The University of Virginia has the questionnaire online. It takes a minute to download. It's less stressful for me to read the questions and feel which side of the coin I am closer to than to have to score myself.
Leadership and Self Deception
Speaking of Self-Deception... This is a cute story, at least the part we read, from Leadership and Self Deception. It all boils down to that everyone has a problem and we have to learn we have the problem and overcome it. The problem is:
We are all in a box and do not view others as "people" but "objects" to accomplish our goals. We view them as "out of the box". We do this through Self-Betrayal and in turn, Self-Deception.
This website has a really good summary:
Being "in the box" limits our ability to reach our full potential and betrays the basic obligation that we each have to see others as they are, as people. "Self-betrayal", an act contrary to what our sense is of what is appropriate and how we should be toward others, is the basis of self-deception. And when we are self-deceived, we 1) inflate others' faults, 2) inflate our own virtue, 3) inflate the value of things that justify our self-betrayal, and 4) blame others. "Self-betrayal is the germ that creates the disease of self-deception."
I just said, "Well ya...." haha
Strengths Finder 2.0
It took me a bit to figure out what this book is called. We didn't get the name of the book; that I remember anyway. I found it! Strengths Finder 2.0.
The core of this book is that you really cannot be anything you want. But you can be more of who you really are. If your strength is that you're an angry old man or woman though, please work on other skills. Thank you.
This is something I believe. You cannot be anything you want. Okay, fine. Sure. I suppose if you really want to be a movie star, you can take a ton of acting classes and go to hundreds of auditions and perhaps you'll make it. But if you can't act naturally, the classes are going to be extremely challenging and frustrating for you. I guess if Keanu Reeves can make it though, so can you! I changed my mind. Be an actor.
I guess what I really believe is that if you work on improving things that you are not very strong in that you'll have wasted a lot of time and energy on making that thing mediocre when you could have spent that same amount of time and energy improving your current strengths into something awesome.
For me, as an example, I don't think I'll ever be extremely organized. I tried carrying around a Day Planner, keeping notes in the computer for my days, using my phone as a handy reminder, etc. I just failed at every one. I've come to realize that's not me. So why should I keep torturing myself in pushing that "skill"? I have learned little things to do to help like using One Note for small things so that I can bring myself up from "Complete Failure" to "Getting By", but I don't need a gold star in day-to-day organizational skills.
For a strength, I'm a quick learner who is able to remember things relatively easily and so I put energy into that. I reach out and try to learn continually. I believe that if I stop learning things then I'll lose that ability.
Another thing I am strong in is people skills. I could be better though. I catch myself doing things that could be better such as not fully listening and giving off bad body language. I am working on this to improve it because it's worth the time. If I wasn't a "people person" I would have to recognize that and put my efforts into something else.
Oh ya, I too am NOT a salesperson. (Read the link....) That's something I know about me. I will NOT do your multi-level home marketing. Stop asking me to sign up!!!! ha!
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