I meant to write this entry last night, but I hurt my hand and I could barely move it. Tonight, I'm drugged up and ready to knock this out, last minute procrastination style!
We've been discussing the topic of giving recognition to others, positive and negative feedback/criticism and having difficult interactions/crucial conversations. A large majority of our last face-to-face meeting a couple of weeks ago was on this.
Aaaaaaand, here's my homework:
Recognize a colleague for a contribution they have made to the organization. In your Journal, make an entry that describes the scenario. (We’ll be reviewing your journal entries.) Analyze the effectiveness of the recognition. (How was it received? What went well? What didn’t go well? Why?) Describe how you applied concepts or techniques you learned in Flight Academy.
They're such bullies. Reviewing my journal entries to force me to do my homework! ;O) I have a problem with the homework. I naturally recognize colleagues and (see next assignment) provide positive feedback when I see things come up. But when I saw this assignment, I bristled. Now I have to seek it out? It will be forced! Fake! Nothing is worse than FAKE RECOGNITION! *Please see constructive feedback/criticism....
We want it to be Specific, Timely and Results-Oriented, right? Genuine, Personal, Spontaneous, Unexpected and Deserved. But most of all, it needs to be sincere.
Ha.... as I was writing this I was going to write about how I have recognized my colleague, Chris Parker. But then I realized that I haven't really officially done it in a written format recently. And guess what? Even though I just paused and wrote him an email, it was genuine, personal, spontaneous, (I assume) unexpected and deserved. I also believe it's ST & R. I cc'd our manager because she should know. Even though she already does.
Subject: Chris Parker is awesomeChris,
I want to tell you how much I really appreciate you and how much you have helped me. Not only since you’ve been on this team but way before. You help translate the clinical world for me in a way that is easy to digest and doesn’t make me feel like a complete idiot. I’ve relied on you for quite a while and I don’t know if I’ve ever really told you how important you are. Do you know that when you came to this team you amazed everyone? On day one you started shining. You immediately started trying to figure out ways to improve the physician’s world and bring us all closer together. I was scared I was going to lose your expertise to the bustle of your real job. You’re too busy for me! Somehow I’m surviving but this is why I say you’re awesome. I sincerely mean it.Thank you for everything.Me
I'll update with the response.
Provide positive feedback to a colleague. In your Journal, make an entry that describes the scenario. Analyze the effectiveness of the feedback. (How was it received? What went well? What didn’t go well? Why?) Describe how you applied concepts or techniques you learned in Flight Academy.
What's the difference between recognition and feedback? Recognition is when you recognize a person for their value and contribution. Feedback would be when a person does something and you give them comments on that thing. I can tell you that nothing in particular has happened over the last week that I can think of to provide feedback on. Hmmm...
Robin Palmer is the first person who comes to mind. She writes, every week, amazing emails for her ER docs at St. Mark's and Lone Peak. They are detailed and color coded. She has a section of issues that are fixed, issues that are pending and issues that cannot ever be fixed and why. She has a section at the top that states what is happening that week. Her email lets her docs know that SHE and IT&S cares about them and listens to them. It is detailed, yet simple and to the point. I have told her more than once but once I sent her a detailed email explaining exactly what I've said here. Then I followed up with her in person. It went well because I had detailed information of what I liked and not just "That was great!" Also, I didn't leave it at just the written word. I made sure we spoke face to face to be sure that we were truly connected and it she knew that I was moved by what I saw and impressed.
I felt she received it well. She's the type of person who doesn't like group recognition (you can tell she just "tolerates" it) but she also needs and enjoys to hear that she's appreciated and that people see her effort in a quiet environment.
I felt she received it well. She's the type of person who doesn't like group recognition (you can tell she just "tolerates" it) but she also needs and enjoys to hear that she's appreciated and that people see her effort in a quiet environment.
Provide constructive feedback/criticism to a colleague. In your Journal, make an entry that describes the scenario. Analyze the effectiveness of the feedback. (How was it received? What went well? What didn’t go well? Why?) Describe how you applied concepts or techniques you learned in Flight Academy.
This might be a slight cheat, but my constructive criticism is that I spoke with Ann about this lesson. I used "I feel" statements. I explained how it was very difficult to come up with spontaneous feedback for people and that it made everything feel fake. I was, at first, really irritated with the homework. I admit I was being sarcastic with a couple of people and giving "fake" accolades to a fellow Flight Academy person. "Ohhhhh, you're doing such a GREAT JOB! I like that thing you're doing with the thing." I could have, easily, gone in to speak with Ann and said, "This is impossible, I can't believe you gave us a week (Wednesday to pretty much Tuesday) blah blah blah." or any other kind of negative, confrontational topic. Or I could have also not said anything at all. Instead, by going in to talk to her about it, this is what happened:
Ann said, "Well, can you think of anything you've ever done? Document that." Wow...yes, yes, I have. I thought of Chris in the recognition thing. I thought of Robin. I thought of a few other things too.
Identify an individual in your life (professional or personal) with whom you believe you need to have a Difficult Interaction/Crucial Conversation. In your Journal, make an entry that describes the scenario. Using the process outlined in the PowerPoint “When Stakes Are High” (presented in the Oct 30th face-to-face and available in the Communication shared folder on the teamroom), analyze the situation. Indicate why you think you need to engage in the conversation, identify the sources of difference, and develop a plan for engaging in a conversation with the individual. You do not need to carry out this plan at this time! (We’ll be asking for volunteers to share their scenario during the WebEx. Please consider doing so.)
Ahhhhhh...... My grandmother. My grandma can no longer take care of herself. She is a strong willed woman. You'd never guess that. ;O) Her mother had Alzheimer's. Her mother also was in a nursing home in Lehi, UT that wasn't the best. It wasn't a pleasant ending. My grandma is very insistent that she a) never go to a retirement home and b) is NOT crazy and NOT losing her memory.
My grandpa (her husband) definitely has Alzheimer's. He doesn't remember who I am. He is gone. My grandma and grandpa live in their home currently. My grandma takes care of both of them. But my grandma has health issues of her own. She forgets things. When you have a conversation with her you have to repeat things a dozen times, she'll write them down and not remember that she did. She'll forget you talked to her. But then other things she'll remember so well, you're surprised. Sometimes she forgets to make dinner and have them both take their medication. She doesn't pay her bills. There's many problems.
But if you talk to her about it she yells. "I AM NOT LOSING MY MIND! I remember things just fine! Why is everyone forcing me to do things? I am not crazy! I am not moving into a home!"
How do you have a conversation with someone who, if they remember (oh she will...she remembers the bad ones ha), will scream and fight you the whole time?
She doesn't want to be her mother. I don't blame her. She doesn't want to admit she needs help. I totally understand. I want her to be independent but she can't do it any longer. When you try to help her, she gets angry. When you don't help her, she gets angry. I want them to move to an assisted living facility. Before something bad (worse) happens.
- I need to do research on assisted living facilities first - I can't go in blindly. I have to know the pros about them.
- I need to stop telling myself that it's not going to work. Even though it's not... not at first anyway. Sure, it won't work at first. But I haven't really tried that hard! But with persistence, I can probably find the right phrase or time. If I continue waiting for the "right time" it will be a bombshell.
- I need to explain to her how worried I am about them. I don't feel she can take care of grandpa.
- I should NOT bring up her memory... it should only be grandpa's and her health. Would she want to have something live with them at the house? No... but wouldn't being together at a facility be better?
- I need a better word than "home" or "facility"
- This is not going to work...
- To be continued...
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